Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Here's Your Red White and Blue

Dayum Bro - I've been getting harangued all week about my plans for this upcoming holiday weekend. The Fourth O July. Which is fine. Means I'm cool and sought after and all that. I understand what I'm doing is of great importance. No one wants to seal their RSVP envelope until checking in with ole Mo's plans. I don't blame. I don't hate. I was just getting anxious because, between you and me, I have no plans. No great firework slash barbecue type deals. No white parties. No red or blue or star striped themed anything has passed through my inbox. So I started getting a little worried. Like, are my evites going straight to spam? You know how it goes. I just started straight spinning out and thinking I had to find something awesome to do on Sunday. Then BAM. You know when something comes into your life, and you just forget about everything for a while and stare? In absolute awe?

I got an email this afternoon: subject line 'Ready For This?' - mysteriously followed up with a link in the note and a suggestion I not hit pause once the clips starts, but to 'give it time. it gets really good about a minute in.' Said sender isn't of the porn peddling type, so I had no hesitation and clicked away. What my eyes were gifted is indescribable. Truly. In every sense of the word. Here we have R&B Legend/Superstar R Kelly talking into a camera for a YouTube segment called Real Talk Behind The Scenes. Seems RK is telling us he's about to rap/sing his latest ballad. But his creepy sunglasses and busted cornrows throw up all sorts of 'just hit stop' signs. I held true to my friends warning 'give it time' and kept watching. RK then tells us "profanity represents just how real shit gets when you're arguing with your girl n shit." I mean, right there - how true?! I was in. I am in. He gives his fans a shout out, then he starts singing (I guess) into a phone to his girlfriend (I think). Apparently, his girlfriends girlfriends saw him in a club with some other ladies, and his woman is concerned and decided to call him up and discuss it. RK is clearly perturbed, asking why she's hanging out with those "no man having assholes" anyway.

Wow. I watched this video four times. It has over 2 million hits!! When he yells into the phone "did she say there was other guys there? where there other guys there?" I lose my shit every time. Not only do I now know what I'm doing for the Fourth of July, but I also know what I'm wearing. Blinged out hoodie mother f'er!!!! Out.